Skip to main content

"I cannot breakdown..."

"i cannot breakdown...."

this is the lie i tell myself
while my heart is on the verge
of loosing itself.

sometimes i stare
in silent transitions
between fantasy and reality
and feel like a tortoise without limbs
curled in its own shell.

"who told you, you can move mountains
when you can't even pick a pin.
you lazy Nigerian youth.
your failures stink like the stone cold faeces
of a chimpanzee i saw passing
on daydreams street yesterday"

...said stagnation.

Yes, that being that has decided to
put me in a state of mental depravity
it's like my thoughts are caving in...to a bottle
of dreams and aspirations left to ferment.

that demon that feeds you with the
memory
of your failures.
and all you see is how you shouldn't have followed this path or missed the other path
forgetting that action and reaction
are equal and opposite.

From this bottle of dreams.
i drink everyday.
forgetting the failures of yesterday.
assuring myself that God will make a way
where there seems to be no way.

from the bottle, hope tells me.
"linger on.
the race is not for the swift.
but for those who with patience and resilience,
surmounted all odds."

"i repeat... i cannot breakdown"
an assurance i give myself.
when pressure chokes you to breathlessness.
you are crying and struggling to breathe
and weak to do anything at the same time

because

you have to hold on.
go through the fire.
refined like pure gold
through it's floating mould of impurities.

"i repeat.... i cannot breakdown"
when i have already broken down
in tears.
constrained to chains that limits
the extent to which you can move mountains.

with fetters spawned from clay.
you are ridiculed and spat on by.
the mistakes you made the other day.

"i still repeat... I CANNOT BREAK DOWN!"

Sometimes it seems like the downtimes will last forever.
and most times i develop this nostalgic fever.
but in the end i know that,
Joy will definitely flow... like a river.

(c) Danny El.

#relicsOfTheFray

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ghostly Solitude II

Dusty sands, the brown hazy play. of particles dancing in the wild. Rest flees from the fray Of solitude, careless like a child. Feelings emerge from the ghost Wetness deprived, its right to sleep. and made to silence, a warming toast, Of friendship, in the halls of the deep. Lost in the depths of sheer insanity. sanity becomes the madness i seek I try to break free from the vanity. numbing the tyranny of cold feet As i stomp the grounds in colored hazy play, with particles ghosting in the wild. on the fields where solitude dances like a child. © Danny El. 19-2-2019

Rantings of a dying dream

So here you are, Pleading with your nightmares, Asking for its forgiveness. You had earlier castrated your thoughts, Stripping it of it's ability To produce dreams. What is left now are figments of a dying past. That has no relevance in the trends of the present. So you sit by the wayside, Begging for knowledge On the streets of ignorance. No help came. Only words... Words that eat deep, painfully, Into your bones and marrows. Depriving you of the ability to hope for tomorrow. No way to augment for the times spent in the corners of joy and bliss. you flee to the sunset. Hoping to gain comfort through the eye of the needle. It only gets worse. Your eyes bleed with desire to feel the jaws of inspiration biting through your skin. Oh, that pleasure. Yes, that intoxicating pain to feel revived again. you just can't handle the streams of revelations blowing through your mind. Your soul awakens Your eyes blink to white. You begin to see... things. In the midst of

Soulmate

The other day I wanted to see your smile in reverse. as it morphed from happiness to sadness Then play it back from that moment when you were sad, and i kissed you... and you smiled, sheepishly. I wanted to make it look like an insta-boomerang of some sort. moving back and forth, Chewing the memories with the jaws of my imaginations. I had thought at some point that what if, we could go back to when it all began... You had sat beside me in this bus headed to no destination because for me, my destination resides in you. i turned sideways and saw you reading your way into the scrolls guarding my heart. You were about to make me loose sight of perspective. So i disappeared into thin air. But who am i when thin air is the same thing that made me thin as a strand of hair because... I was almost loosing my sanity from the incessant fights to regain dominance of my perspective. You seemed like a virus, chewing and replicating yourself into the cracks within my mind, bre