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Showing posts from December, 2018

Soulmate

The other day I wanted to see your smile in reverse. as it morphed from happiness to sadness Then play it back from that moment when you were sad, and i kissed you... and you smiled, sheepishly. I wanted to make it look like an insta-boomerang of some sort. moving back and forth, Chewing the memories with the jaws of my imaginations. I had thought at some point that what if, we could go back to when it all began... You had sat beside me in this bus headed to no destination because for me, my destination resides in you. i turned sideways and saw you reading your way into the scrolls guarding my heart. You were about to make me loose sight of perspective. So i disappeared into thin air. But who am i when thin air is the same thing that made me thin as a strand of hair because... I was almost loosing my sanity from the incessant fights to regain dominance of my perspective. You seemed like a virus, chewing and replicating yourself into the cracks within my mind, bre

Rantings of a dying dream

So here you are, Pleading with your nightmares, Asking for its forgiveness. You had earlier castrated your thoughts, Stripping it of it's ability To produce dreams. What is left now are figments of a dying past. That has no relevance in the trends of the present. So you sit by the wayside, Begging for knowledge On the streets of ignorance. No help came. Only words... Words that eat deep, painfully, Into your bones and marrows. Depriving you of the ability to hope for tomorrow. No way to augment for the times spent in the corners of joy and bliss. you flee to the sunset. Hoping to gain comfort through the eye of the needle. It only gets worse. Your eyes bleed with desire to feel the jaws of inspiration biting through your skin. Oh, that pleasure. Yes, that intoxicating pain to feel revived again. you just can't handle the streams of revelations blowing through your mind. Your soul awakens Your eyes blink to white. You begin to see... things. In the midst of

A Birthday Note

There is a land far far away. Where dreams were made diamonds  There, a maiden was born and laid. Crying, with feets of small. She had the voice of humming birds. That breaks the walls of hate. An attitude, simple and dear. That makes men beg to date. My heart is small, compared to what. I wished you on your day. If life is one, i wish you ten. With peace that leads sadness astray. The toils you face are but pathways. Through which you'll reach the end. Be steadfast dear, hold on, and pray. And see how miracles outplay. A little timid prayer dear.. That your life wont be wasted years. That you'll enjoy the dividends. Of grace, long life, in favor's realm.

I am

I am, A broken piece of clay, molded by, a Potter yet unseen A fragment of... ...mourning snow, lieutenant of the fray, blessed with cursed beauty, graced within. © Danny El.

Muted Conversation IX

Tonight i would stay awake and think about how we eloped into mysteries. You came in and stuffed my mind with effervescent chemistry. I couldn't breathe. All i knew was, i wanted to strip you naked and disvirgin your imagination with words borne from a heart yearning for intimacy. But i was dumb... silence gagged me like a prisoner tortured by the snares of grief. All i could see was temptation staring at me in stern disbelief. "Do something" my alter ego would say. But all i could do was take my mind on a erotic spree to love's garden. I would take your hands and slowly caress them light and thin. Hypnotizing my senses into the pores of your skin. I wanted you to feel what i feel. I wanted to dissolve into your memories and hack them with images of me. I wanted to wet the appetite between your thighs with testimonies of godliness and raw passion. I wanted to perform the ceremony of consummation. I would look at you and break into a smile governed by naughty ideas and

Muted Conversation VIII

I wanted to make love with your words. I wanted to caress them, savoring the cracks within your mind. maybe I did, maybe not. But one thing is certain, I almost fell in love. They say the mind of a writer is a vast labyrinth of imaginations intertwined with memories from yon past. and i think its true, because your words and your looks have the same hue. I would sit down beside you and ponder why I never knew you earlier. Maybe time and chance may have happened to us before now. but what if it never happened. I would stare into your eyes and see my scars in them and I would begin to wonder if we were twins in an alternate dimension of reality. or maybe what I see is a mirage. I would hold your hands and read the lines within and begin to see reasons why you act the way you do, I would tell you and you would call me a diviner of some sorts A soothsayer or a prophet and we would laugh into silence. Then i would touch your lips, designed with scars. i would want to caress them with mine,

Muted Conversation VII

You would come around and visit, quiet and calm you remain, saying few words, only when necessary. Then i would emerge from the other room and see you, and with a cheerful smile come over and say "Hi" That's where it ends, nothing else is spoken. Only when necessary are side talks stirred like a storm. and then a great calm I would sit by your side, but still feel this sense of connection, i would kiss and cuddle you, tell you how much i really care. caress your light skin, lick your ears.. tickle your nipples till they become so firm. All in my head while watching DSTV. Then sometimes when you are not there, I would think about you in ways you can't possibly imagine. Maybe we could go to Antarctica. I heard there are aliens there, Despite the weather, But we would still go and explore the cold. Maybe we would freeze to death. But death is only a noun. ringing in my head. "Send my regards to your sister" I would always tell your brother. I don

Muted Conversation VI

The truth is, i can't really keep in touch with everyone. How can i, when i can't even relate with myself. For those of you who feel i have decided to snub you or i have "forgotten" you, You have no idea of the number of times i have forgotten myself, sinking into an ocean created by an unknown void. Even my memories get confused most times. Do i have a mental problem? We all do. Even you reading this post. You are mad. We are all mad people. That's why we are able to invent things that will destroy us. Recent studies found out that our emotions can be controlled with our smartphones because they emit microwaves. A method i think they call microwave engineering. You can feel depressed not out of your own volition, but by someone sitting in front of one system or device, pressing your emotional buttons. That's how weird the world has become. Slander is a terrible experience. I have been slandered countless times. Usually i enjoy it, but it becomes annoying w

Muted Conversations V

Today, you made me walk on floors of happiness. Even though sometimes, my happiness has flaws And then you decided to tear me up with laughter and bring out my intestines, performing a surgical operation i would call: tickling butterflies. Because, that was how you made me feel.   Truth is: You are a stranger with a strange way of making your aura strangely fascinating. It would be a waste of time trying to fathom why you, at some point mystified my emotions into confusion. Because, my emotions are me, and me, my emotions. But today, me and my emotions snubbed each other, like we were enemies from time immemorial.   I am still trying to reconcile my thoughts with the reality that you are someone I'm becoming really fond of and I'm also trying to figure out why i see you in a whole new dimension of insanity. Because, Chemistry is a subject i don't want to study now because secondary school days are over but what if i asked if we could study this subject and understand

Muted Conversations IV

1:29am, 7th November, 2018. I am in front of a laptop screen, writing my way into the night, streaming thoughts from insanity while trying to figure out why my eyes are still wide open. Apparently, i feel really sad. Sad that people can be so easily deceived by what they hear. I was speaking to a friend of mine and he was telling me how my name has been tossed about with bats of disdain and backbiting for things i have never done.   True, i have my flaws and i try in my little ways to admit them when they rear their ugly heads. I'm in a period of emotional rehabilitation and it's only a matter of time before i regain my sanity once again. But is that why some beings with coconut brains would see that as an opportunity to chew my name to bits of contempt?   Truth is: I'm actually laughing at what i just wrote because it is fun for me to see people break their heads gossiping about things i didn't do. That means you have a place in their hearts, either through envy or

Muted Conversations III

So Today, I happened to hang out with a young friend of mine whom i haven't seen for sometime now and somehow he has grown taller than me (I'm a short man anyways but i have hope more than most of you here sha) ***tongues out***.   So we began to talk about family, his family and how he wants to run away from them because of how they treat him. I told him to calm down that if he has read my post titled: "Listen for Love", he will understand why they act the way they do.   "Always know they love you more than you can imagine, blend in, be a good boy"... I said. Then out of the blue, he revealed a secret that made me surprised... a little bit though. "Dan, I know i have never told you this...I'm a Skeptic" I was like "Oh, that's cool, but how come.. how did it get to this point." I was perturbed in my spirit, i began to wonder how he got to this point, i needed to know when this belief that THERE IS NO GOD began to take root in

Muted Conversations II

So this week, which actually ended yesterday has been one of the quietest low-key weeks for me in recent times. It has been a week of reflections for me which may thaw into the coming weeks because I'm still in it. There is this need to detoxify my thoughts and there are two ways in which this has worked for me effectively. Okay, not really two ways but one way, the second is enshrouded in the first. One is solitude, the second is listening to Hillsong but not the normal way you guys listen to it. I usually have to tune the volume way down till it seems as if the song is coming from distant space. It gives the feeling of me listening to an inner voice. Silent but speaking from within....far away... in an atmosphere of utter silence. However, its been a week of low key reflections when i witnessed a strange occurrence about me and the poems i write.   Okay, like most of you guys know. I write poems (some of which i wouldn't regard as poems but you guys insist it is) and i made

Muted Conversation I

Recently i have been trying to understand why i feel the way i feel sometimes. Though not every time. These days i happen to stay aloof and struggle really hard to maintain new friendships. Even old friendships happen to be fading because of this problem. Right now, I'm not sure if the people around me are friends or just acquaintances. I don't know if this is a phase of growing up or an evolving symptom of social anxiety.   Depression is the norm. Everyone and everything in Nigeria have experienced some form of depression at some point, even rats and lizards. But I'm not writing to buttress on that. I'm actually trying to understand why sometimes there is this emptiness we tend to feel, like a hollow, unable to feel joy, not sad either, cry-laughing, laugh-crying.   When I have face-to-face conversations with new people, I tend to be mostly shy to a point where i may be nodding at your words and laughing to your jokes and not really hearing anything. Hugs mean more to