Skip to main content

Muted Conversations IV

1:29am, 7th November, 2018.
I am in front of a laptop screen, writing my way into the night, streaming thoughts from insanity while trying to figure out why my eyes are still wide open.

Apparently, i feel really sad.
Sad that people can be so easily deceived by what they hear.
I was speaking to a friend of mine and he was telling me how my name has been tossed about with bats of disdain and backbiting for things i have never done.
 
True, i have my flaws and i try in my little ways to admit them when they rear their ugly heads. I'm in a period of emotional rehabilitation and it's only a matter of time before i regain my sanity once again. But is that why some beings with coconut brains would see that as an opportunity to chew my name to bits of contempt?
 
Truth is: I'm actually laughing at what i just wrote because it is fun for me to see people break their heads gossiping about things i didn't do. That means you have a place in their hearts, either through envy or admiration.
 
However, i was planning on writing a poem about distance and how it ruins relationships but i think i would just do a pseudo-poem about it. here it goes...
 
******
Babe, i would have said i miss you but that would be a betrayal of trust on my part,
Because distance is a bitch, you know we do not deserve to be apart.
A part of me says, "Call her" but i know what i feel when i call you each time. so i reject that inner voice.
But you at the other end would have me in thoughts, waiting for my call and because you do not want to feel too needy, recline to hug your teddy bear.
The truth is that, missing you is sheer frustration, one that comes with a pain i battle with within, so i cling to the nugget: "Out of sight is out of mind" like a teddy bear too, to console me from the plethora of restlessness that plagues my mind everyday.
*******

Sometimes i happen to see absence as a noun and a verb at the same time because...
Absence carries a presence(noun) that is only made manifest(verb) when you are not around.
And while i am trying so hard to survive under this scorching heat of not seeing you face to face, holding your hands and scattering your hair. I hope you would understand when i decide not to call till i'm sure i would see you in three days time...whenever that will be.
 
++with love always++

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Muted Conversation IX

Tonight i would stay awake and think about how we eloped into mysteries. You came in and stuffed my mind with effervescent chemistry. I couldn't breathe. All i knew was, i wanted to strip you naked and disvirgin your imagination with words borne from a heart yearning for intimacy. But i was dumb... silence gagged me like a prisoner tortured by the snares of grief. All i could see was temptation staring at me in stern disbelief. "Do something" my alter ego would say. But all i could do was take my mind on a erotic spree to love's garden. I would take your hands and slowly caress them light and thin. Hypnotizing my senses into the pores of your skin. I wanted you to feel what i feel. I wanted to dissolve into your memories and hack them with images of me. I wanted to wet the appetite between your thighs with testimonies of godliness and raw passion. I wanted to perform the ceremony of consummation. I would look at you and break into a smile governed by naughty ideas and...
Post a Comment
Read more

++Constellations++

One.... two... three. in constant increments, we began the fire that merged two worlds together. "Analysis check" was the phrase I evoked in constant scrutiny of these raging magma in my veins. Our meeting was a constellation of fireflies in space. in which we drowned subconsciously, but somehow evolved into amphibians. that could adapt to these changes terraforming our minds into colonies of insanity. Your eyes is the gate to a world simple and beautiful. Sometimes I question the nature of my reality in your absence. because reality is when I’m with you. Your hands is the highway to all things tender and poignant. Sometimes I get sick when I’m not with you. because your touch makes me blue. I won't try to fight these soldiers of affections assembled in my mind for a war of wit and guts because they will surely prevail. Instead I will lead them on a course to victory in mind, body, spirit and soul. Because I think I've found that mis...
Post a Comment
Read more

Sunbeams

The sun beams its rays of light Into an eerie fog of darkness. Paving way for joy to dance its way Into the shadows of night. Surreal silence then decides to prey On this joy, transforming it to fear. The fog then morphs into faces of demons. Dining in a feast of fright. The sun beams again to disrupt the darkness And chaos sets in. The mind of joy enlivens into straws of hope. Standing in a congregation singing. "Rays of joy...rays of spoil. Shine with colors that destroy. Rays of joy, come restore. Beams of hope and faith employ To a heart so frail and thin And a mind, timid and weak Shine with grace so strong and heal Open wounds and age long scars" The sun beams now rays of hope. Forming a rainbow in a desert of whispers. Reality becomes a dream. Blistering fantasies into the winds. Then suddenly i wake into shards of loneliness Beaten by the fray of a long lost bond. The sun beams onto my face As i look out to the window Staring at nothing. H...
Post a Comment
Read more